- Saying insulting words: Rather than hurling insults when you’re hurt, think of a more critical and constructive way to express your feelings.
- Saying Nothing (also known as giving the silent treatment): Many marriage therapists attest that ex-communicating your partner and or giving an elongated silent treatment can be very dangerous to a relationship and may lead to infidelity.
- Saying “It’s your fault.”: Laying blame on your spouse rather than trying to determine how your actions have contributed to the conflict is a way to continue the conflict and eventually bring dejection into your start marriage
- “Throwing the DIVORCE word”: No matter how angry or upset you may be, never ever threaten your spouse with a divorce if you don’t mean it. He or she may eventually take you up on it.
- “THIS is why my mother/father/relative doesn’t like you”: Nothing pisses off a raging spouse than comparing their actions with your relative’s standard of perfection. The both of you aren’t dating anymore so why should you continue to measure his or her shortcomings with your Mom’s, Dad’s or even anyone’s perception of appropriateness ? Instead, support your spouse and avoid meaningless criticism.
- “This person’s husband/wife does not do this or that!”: Constantly comparing your spouse to spouses in other relationships is a sure way to invite disaster into your home. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with constructive criticism but make sure it is constructive. Stop the nagging, constant complaints and comparison match…. afterall, you are married to your spouse not the other person.
Although this list is not all inclusive, trying to steer away from these disastrous sentences may help you avert conflict in your marriage. Also remember, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side….no matter how fresh it looks from your view.